From Mr. Roboto to Man Boobs...

A bit of a delay in getting off the latest post. A couple of the latest happenings in our little kingdom.

• Went to a camping and RV show a couple of weeks ago. I must say that persons residing outside the castle walls and at this particular event were quite a curious sort. My perceptions that people who are passionate about camping are in good shape (you know, hiking, canoeing, camping etc.) was quite ill conceived. I had to wonder at the girth of some and thought it quite possible the Earth could indeed be revolving around them one day.
• As we left one of the buildings to go home, Princess Shannon somehow lost her balance and fell into one of the crowd control barriers, giving the Royal Family quite a hearty laugh. To which she quipped, "Apparently, one isn't allowed to be clumsy in this family."
• Last week, after finishing the week's worth of work requirements, I loaded the kids in the carriage and headed to N.H. to surprise my mom for her birthday. It's a 3+ hour ride, and though I had worked for 8 hours already that day, the ride was a breeze as we blasted Mr. Roboto and sang at the top of our lungs with absolutely no shame to be found. I suggest the next time you're bored on a long ride to test this classic on your kids. 3 plays and they'll be hooked.
• Though I feel I put in a good workweek, today I was determined to get my cabinets organized. No small task, I assure you. What inspired me? If I had to see the Family Guy's man boobs taking up room in my cabinet one more day, I was going to lose it. 

The Glorious Olympics...Through the Eyes of Children

The royal children are on their winter break from school. This is a wonderful time to watch Queen Mum leave for work and then proceed to become zombified by today's technology, whether they've been given permission or not. After our weekly excursion to the town's library last night, we came home, and soon the sounds of Nickelodeon were filling my ears.

"Turn on NBC," I instruct. "What's on NBC?" came the accusatory tones, essentially saying, "How dare you interrupt a repeat of a repeat of a repeat of Hanna Montana?" "The Olympics are on," I answer.

Princess Shannon is not pleased. "This is boring," she declares after, no exaggeration, THREE SECONDS. I ignore the comment. A run is about to begin on the women's snowboard cross...let's see how boring it is after watching some kick-ass girls grabbing some serious air while racing done a mountain at speeds averaging faster than I usually drive, (unless I'm late for work, of course).

After a couple of wipeouts, suddenly no one is complaining anymore. Princess Brianna is happy because apparently she was told to watch the Olympics for a class project coming up after the break. Hmmm, wonder when she planned on divulging that info.

Women's snowboard cross, cool. Next up, mens figure skating. Now, here comes the fun. 

"He's cute," says Shannon.

"He doesn't like girls," quips Prince Michael.  

"Why do you say that?" I ask irritated, not for the fact that it wasn't necessarily true, but the fact that it probably was true in this case. I just want to watch the guys skate for crying out loud, do I have to give lessons on sexuality while I do so?

Anyway, Michael proceeds to point out their flamboyant clothing and makeup. I tell him it's all just a part of the presentation. He's not buying it. 

So here we come to the moment when a skater waits for his score. The camera zooms in on the skater's face or if the cameraman is somewhat kind, just the upper torso. Each time, for at least a minute, we watch these poor people waiting for the final sentence (anything less than 3rd place IS a sentence). They smile, squint, rock back and forth because their nerves are on edge. For years they've trained, waiting for this moment. And what does Prince Michael say? "They look like they're trying to take a dump."

Uproarious laughter ensues, yes, even from me, because I had to admit, the guy we were watching at the time looked like he was in serious need of Metamucil Plus. Each grimace, squint and rocking motion sent everyone in deep hysterics. As the third person sat down to be judged I had to put an end to it. Forget about the actual skating part, now they just wanted to see what the next guy did when he sat down. Try not to chuckle the next time you watch...I challenge you. 

Shades of Gray

Homework - Imagine this word written with such distain that my fingers are literally cringing on the keyboard as I write it. It's a hot topic for some parents - an inferno to others.

I embrace summer because not only do I get to let the kids be kids for a brief period, but I get a brief respite from the King's expectations of homework. The perception is that children should joyously walk through the door after 6 hours of school and happily plant their behinds at their desks for another 2 hours to commence the education process, and then study ahead for another hour or two to get ahead of the class. And don't you dare move from that seat until it's all finished. Mental breaks be damned!

Pardon my rant this morning. After another long day at work, I come home to Prince Michael's beloved camera being taken away. He was warned the previous day that he is to come home, sit down, and not move until his homework is completed.

Just prior to my arrival, Michael was caught outside before his homework was done - because he was throwing rock salt out on the driveway in anticipation of today's snowstorm.

There is no doubt that children are better off for having two parents. Kids have different skill sets and experiences to pull from each. However, these different skill sets and experiences sometimes make each parent want to kill each other because they just don't see things through the same pair of eyes.

Because Prince Michael decided to do something nice, but not his homework, the King's Black and White view of life immediately kicked in. The King sees it as a personal afront to his wishes and Dooms Day predictions ensue that Prince Michael will be a peasant for the rest of his life. It is duly noted that I "let this happen", even though I just walked through the door.

As a teenager I remember quite well that homework was a task I detested. Other priorities, like socializing, were far more preferable. Though Prince Michael is an average student, he possesses an outgoing personality that most people compliment us on. He makes goals (earn enough money for an SLR camera, clean the garage without being asked, etc.) and achieves them.

There is no doubt in my mind that the King is correct, Prince Michael's average grades won't get him into the University of Camelot. But working in the Kingdom of Workplace Requirements for over 20 years, I believe it's gumption and great personalities that make people successful at work. Prince Michael knows that because his grades are not great, he will end up paying his way through college - the royal jewels are not as plentiful as we'd like.

For Prince Michael, this will be a lesson learned a bit later. I did, and I still think life is pretty damn good. I will continue to reward good behavior, and hand out reasonable punishments for poor behavior, but at the end of the day, you can't change a person's nature or attitude; they must decide to do that for themselves. Why kill yourself trying?

Respect - Good, Poisoning Town Water Supply - Bad

Yesterday - worked 10 hours, 1/2 hour commute home, make dinner for 7 people, then rush out the drawbridge to Prince Michael's high school open house for another hour and a half. This is the life of the working American mom - Anybody want to trade?

Anyway, I'm not whining...just setting the stage. Prince Michael came along for the ride to the open house, not because he wanted to keep Queen Mum company, but because he couldn't remember the room numbers I had to go to so I could meet his teachers.

"We're going to be a few minutes late," I announced as we drove.

He looked in the brochure that was sent home about the event. "The parents are supposed to meet in the auditorium first for an introduction speech. They're probably just going to go over the school's Core Values."

The school's Core Values are plastered all over the facility. The kids are reminded of the Core Values on a regular basis. It's what they want each and every kid to take to heart.

"So do you remember the Core Values," I ask Michael in an inpromptu quiz, much to every teenagers delight.

"Integrity, Responsibility, Good Citizenship and ...," he pauses hoping the fourth will pop into his head quickly before any kind of speech ensues. Too late ...

"So what's the fourth one. Don't they talk about this stuff all the time?" I ask, a bit annoyed. 3 out of 4, another C. Michael is known not to be the most studious in the royal family.

"Respect," he answers quickly. "Mom, everyone just makes fun of the Core Values anyway. Even the teachers." Here he says, with sarcastic flaire, "One day I was going to poison the town's water supply, but then I remembered, 'Hey, that's against our Core Values.' Phew, disaster averted."

I had to laugh at my son's hypothetical scenario (at least I hope it was hypothetical). I did wonder then, why is the school so amped up on these Core Values. Is it because so many parents just don't parent (discipline)these days? Is there now such little parenting being done that the schools had to take over in order to function without their teachers getting beat up by the students?

The lesson here is that we shouldn't be waiting and encouraging our schools to teach core values. This is part of our job description. We should be the ones teaching respect, responsibility, good citizenship and integrity. The schools' job is to teach reading, writing and arithmetic (oh, and, in our disctrict, studio clay and chimes, too. I do love the occasional tea pot and pencil holder Prince Michael graces our castle with).