The royal children are on their winter break from school. This is a wonderful time to watch Queen Mum leave for work and then proceed to become zombified by today's technology, whether they've been given permission or not. After our weekly excursion to the town's library last night, we came home, and soon the sounds of Nickelodeon were filling my ears.
"Turn on NBC," I instruct. "What's on NBC?" came the accusatory tones, essentially saying, "How dare you interrupt a repeat of a repeat of a repeat of Hanna Montana?" "The Olympics are on," I answer.
Princess Shannon is not pleased. "This is boring," she declares after, no exaggeration, THREE SECONDS. I ignore the comment. A run is about to begin on the women's snowboard cross...let's see how boring it is after watching some kick-ass girls grabbing some serious air while racing done a mountain at speeds averaging faster than I usually drive, (unless I'm late for work, of course).
After a couple of wipeouts, suddenly no one is complaining anymore. Princess Brianna is happy because apparently she was told to watch the Olympics for a class project coming up after the break. Hmmm, wonder when she planned on divulging that info.
Women's snowboard cross, cool. Next up, mens figure skating. Now, here comes the fun.
"He's cute," says Shannon.
"He doesn't like girls," quips Prince Michael.
"Why do you say that?" I ask irritated, not for the fact that it wasn't necessarily true, but the fact that it probably was true in this case. I just want to watch the guys skate for crying out loud, do I have to give lessons on sexuality while I do so?
Anyway, Michael proceeds to point out their flamboyant clothing and makeup. I tell him it's all just a part of the presentation. He's not buying it.
So here we come to the moment when a skater waits for his score. The camera zooms in on the skater's face or if the cameraman is somewhat kind, just the upper torso. Each time, for at least a minute, we watch these poor people waiting for the final sentence (anything less than 3rd place IS a sentence). They smile, squint, rock back and forth because their nerves are on edge. For years they've trained, waiting for this moment. And what does Prince Michael say? "They look like they're trying to take a dump."
Uproarious laughter ensues, yes, even from me, because I had to admit, the guy we were watching at the time looked like he was in serious need of Metamucil Plus. Each grimace, squint and rocking motion sent everyone in deep hysterics. As the third person sat down to be judged I had to put an end to it. Forget about the actual skating part, now they just wanted to see what the next guy did when he sat down. Try not to chuckle the next time you watch...I challenge you.
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