Last night Princess Brianna and Princess Shannon were piled on the king bed talking about our day. Brianna began to relate a story about a wedding that was held while the people were skydiving. I wondered if the guests skydived as well.
No, they were waiting on the ground. "It was just the bride, the broom and the holy bible guy." Shannon and I began laughing hysterically as we pictured a priest falling from the heavens with a beautiful bride and a wooden broomstick. "Give me a pen," I commanded. I didn't want to forget this one.
Now, when Princess Bri was about 3, she rarely spoke. We had her tested, and discovered she had a speech delay. Well, after a few years of speech therapy in school for an hour each week, you can hardly tell she had any issues with speech, other than an occasional mix of consonant blends ("br" switched w/"gr" for instance). She probably talks more than Princess Shannon and Prince Michael now.
Brianna's little mix-up reminded me of a little pile of papers collecting dust on my desk. These were written haphazardly after hearing funny quips from my little ones as they were growing up. Here are a few you might get a chuckle from:
- "The Liberty Girl" - Shannon, referring to The Statue of Liberty
- Princess Shannon (almost 7) was spending the last hour with me a work one day. Mike, the UPS driver came to pickup our packages at the usual time. Shannon whispers in my ear, "He's pretty cute." She then pulls me down to whisper again, "Don't you dare tell him that or I'll pound you down."
- While giving medicine to Shannon, Prince Michael suggests that she drink water with it because "that's what the destructions say."
- While Shannon was opening her brother's birthday card at her party, he informed her that he put something (confetti) in the card. Shannon replied in front of all the guests, "I bet it's a dolla'!"
- Shannon commenting on my guitar playing during a practice session - "I think you're even better than guitar-lesson boy" (meaning, Jay, my instructor).
- After Shannon asked for grilled-cheese sandwiches, like she did every day that week, I told her no. "How come you always get to pick what's for dinner?" I replied with the classic standby, "Because I'm the mommy." "Well, when I'm the mommy, I'm only going to give my kids their favorite foods." - I can't wait to see how long that lasts.
- Michael was giving Brianna a hard time when she was asking for some help. Shannon came to stick up for her. "Are you helpfuless? Brianna's not unhelpfulless." - The funny thing is, technically, this might be correct in what she was trying to say.
- Shannon had a crush on Duke James, a little boy in her 1st grade class. I asked why she liked him. "Well, he's got blond hair and freckles. He's really handsome, and he seems real nice, too." 6 years-old and she already had a good idea what she wanted in a man.
- I was listening to one of my favorite bands, Elbow. Mike said, " I like that music. It sounds cool and funky, and I don't even know what funky is."
- Shannon was playing a Lord of The Rings game on the Playstation with her brother. After slashing down a multitude of Orcs she declared, "I'm pretty and I'm cute, but I love to kill!"
- I surprised Brianna for lunch one day by taking her to Red Robin alone. As we were finishing our meals, I started to choke a little bit. Brianna seemed very concerned, "Mom, mom, are you okay?" I successfully cleared my throat and told her I was fine. "Oh, good, 'cuz I need someone to pay the bill."
- One Valentine's Day before work, Mike (then 9) told me while dressing that I should get a red shirt with a heart on it that says "Bug off. I already have a husband."
- Shannon said that when her babysitter, Cassie, comes over, sometimes after dinner she lets them have candy. "Even the big sucky ones." "You mean, candy canes?" "Yes."
- After coming back from a college class, I came home to Mike battling hiccups. He said he had them "because you study too much."
- Shannon was four, and she was reading a story to us a bedtime. Mike corrected one of her words, at which she declared, "Mike, I can get this. What am I? A two-year old?"
- In the same vein, Shannon said, "What do you think I am? A not-knower?"
- Brianna couldn't finish a big glass of milk before bed, so I told her to put the rest in the fridge. As I walked out of the room, I heard her put the glass in and say, "Milk, there's no monsters, ok? Ok, goodnight, milk."
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